Anchor me in this storm
by x.xOracles.Shadowx.x
Summary: Songfic/Oneshot - News of Toby shakes Emily, and an unlikely conversation helps her through. No slash. Deals with character death, so be warned. :  Song is 'I see you' by Mika. Forgive the bad title. I own nothing. Enjoy!


**AN: Another PLL oneshot. I was watching an Emily/Toby vid on youtube to the song, 'I see you' by Mika. It was so sweet and it works so well with them that I had to write something for it. I listened to it as I was writing, and I wound up with this... O.o You be the judge. I wanted Emily's thoughts to seem disjointed because she's gone through a bad shock. Hopefully it's not overkill. Toby/Emily forever! I actually choked up a little while writing this, because I don't want Toby to be gone... :( **

**Anyway guys, enjoy! Disclaimer: I own nothing referenced in either the story or the author's note, I'm ****just using them to get over my fangirl disappointment in Toby's death.  
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Emily couldn't believe it, the words coming out of Officer Wilden's mouth weren't making sense to her. She backed away from the officer, others surrounding her in the hallway of the school. They'd called Emily out of class and broke the news to her that Toby's body hadn't been found, but his torn leather jacket had been, at the bottom of a ravine. From the look on his face, she guessed he'd expected this to be good news, but her only response was a choked scream that raked up her throat.

Behind her, she heard Mr. Fitz come into the hallway, asking what was going on, and she heard Aria hurry to her side, taking her arm and asking Em, what happened? Emily couldn't answer, and the words died to a silent buzzing in her ears. She was pretty sure she said that he was lying, that it wasn't true. Toby wasn't gone. He couldn't be. She didn't know where he was, but he wasn't _gone._

The next thing she knew, she was putting years of physical fitness to use and running through the halls of the school, leaving Aria and Mr. Fitz trailing after her. Everywhere she looked she saw memories of Toby, both good and bad. She hit a locker door that hung open, and the metallic bang brought her back to when Toby fought Ben in the hallway, protecting her. Oh God, where was he? She needed him now, where was he? She passed the chemistry room door, and ran faster, taking the stairs down two at a time in her rush to get out of the school and trying to outrun the memories of that night, that goddamn night. Why hadn't she listened?

She ran past Spencer's locker, and she called to her as she ran past, throwing the doors open and running into the yard. She heard Spencer yelling after her, and heard Mr. Fitz telling Spencer and Aria to stay in the school while he went after her. Emily saw Hanna laughing at something the blushing Lucas said to her as the two sat on a bench, looking over the pictures he'd taken on his camera. Emily thought fleetingly that Hanna looked happy, almost glowing, something she rarely did with Sean anymore.

Forcing her feet to take her further, she didn't hear Hanna calling after her as she ran off the school property, her sneakers pounding against the pavement. She could hear Mr. Fitz running after her, trying to talk her back to coming back to school, but Emily wouldn't stop running. Her phone started buzzing and ringing in her pocket and she ignored it, hating the metal and plastic contraption. That stupid phone had been a root cause of all of this, the reason Toby was gone.

She had no idea how long she ran, but when her legs turned to lead and she fell to her knees, her lungs burning in her chest, she looked up and saw dark clouds had rolled overhead and Mr. Fitz was no where in sight. She fell onto her back, and only then noticed the tears that were snaking out of her eyes and leaving a trail down her face. Toby was gone. The thought made sobs work their way through her sore lungs, and the tears were bitter as she cried. Toby was gone, and there was no way she could find him again.

"Who's there?" Emily sat up and found Jenna standing in front of her carrying a bouquet of flowers. Even with the glasses, a girl knows when another girl has been crying, and Jenna's tear stained face mirrored Emily's own.

"It's Emily.", she answered, her voice rough from crying. Jenna and her dog made their way over to where Emily lay, and she sat down on the grass next to her.

"The police told you?", Jenna asked.

"Yeah, at school. Is that why you weren't there?", Emily asked, and Jenna nodded.

"Your friend Aria called me about an hour ago. She told me you had some kind of panic attack when the police told you, and they were worried about you. I said I'd be on the look out.", Jenna revealed. "This is the last place I thought you'd be."

"Why?", Emily asked, then caught sight of the broken memorial to her left. She'd made her way to Ali's memorial and hadn't even realized. "Oh. I didn't even know where I was going..."

"They say that when you're lost, the heart takes you where you need to be, whether you realize it or not.", Jenna told her. "Memorials are good for that because the dead provide an anchor for the living, I think."

"Is that why you're here? To be anchored?", Emily asked, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes. Ali had been that and more for their little group, she was the anchor, the one who held them all together when life got crazy. When she died they fell apart, and it seemed that even in death, Ali was their anchor because a year later, they all came back together to deal with A.

"No. Alison inspired me, she was so strong... Right now, I need all the strength I can get.", Jenna answered, choking up on the last few words. "Toby was important to me, he was my best friend. Without him, I'm lost, Emily."

"I know what you mean. He kept me safe in a way I don't even understand, and to think that he's gone... Jenna, you're not the only one he was important to. He saw me, and I don't think I'll ever find someone who sees me like he did ever again." Tears slipped down Emily's face as she spoke.

"Emily, can I tell you a secret?", Jenna asked. Emily just looked at her, and saw the tears that fell behind the black out glasses.

"Of course."

"Toby loved you. I don't mean as a friend, though he loved you as that as well. He loved everything about you. We'd talk about you for hours, how he was so scared you'd turn him away when you found out about everything, the truth. He was in love with you, and I know in my heart that he would never hurt you.", Jenna told her. "If you never believe another word I say, Emily, please believe this. Toby did see you, and he loved what he saw even though he knew it would hurt him."

Emily's throat was raw from the emotion that was trying to claw it's way up her chest, and her eyes swam with tears again. She put her head in her hands and started crying quietly. She felt Jenna lean against her arm and heard the sobs that escaped the other girl, and slipped a strengthening hand into one of Jenna's.

"I'd never have hurt him, Jenna. I shouldn't have run, I should have trusted him." The words _I loved him too_ refused to work their way past the lump in her throat, but the squeeze Jenna gave her hand made it clear that the sentiment was understood.

"Where do we go from here?", Jenna asked. Wasn't that the million dollar question, though?

"I guess, forward. I really don't know.", Emily responded. She wanted to find A, and more importantly find Toby alive and healthy and home, but she knew the chances were slim. She turned to look at Jenna and saw the pain that came from losing someone irreplaceable.

" Just keep yourself safe, Emily. Don't go putting yourself at risk. Toby... He wouldn't have wanted that.", Jenna asked her. "Especially now that he's not here to save you."

"I'll do my best.", Emily promised. "I want to save him, though. I want him home, Jenna."

"So do I. And you did save him, more than you know. For him, the sun rose and set on you. So for that, I owe you one. He wasn't happy before he met you, Emily. You brought my best friend back to me, so thank you." Jenna smiled shakily at Emily.

"Well, for what it's worth, you have a new friend in me anytime you need one.", Emily promised her, returning the shaky smile.

The two sat on the grass, just silently appreciating what was left of Ali's memorial and Emily felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She fished it out and glanced at the screen, feeling her stomach sink as she read the text message.

'_Lucky me, I get a front row seat for a private performance of Romeo and Juliet! Only question is, when will Juliet drop dead? Time will tell. Enjoy your encore, bitch.- A_'

**AN: I don't know what to say. I wanted some kind of reconcilation between them, and it would be just like A to go and screw up a nice moment like that. These are the parts of the song that really made me think of them and helped me write this.**

**'I'm sitting across from you  
I'm dreaming of the things I do  
I don't speak, you don't know me at all'**

'Truth be told, my problems solved  
You mean the world to me but you'll never know'

'Could it be you feel for me?  
In any possibly similarity.  
If it's so, how would I know?  
You'll never know me at all.  
But I see you.  
But I see you.'

**Anyway, that's it, guys! Hope you enjoyed it. Love it, hate it, no strong feeling about it either way? Feel free to review.  
Much love, thanks for reading! Oracle (L) (L)**


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